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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453068">so empty, so used up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/flysafepapi/pseuds/flysafepapi'>flysafepapi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Peaky Blinders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 09:16:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/flysafepapi/pseuds/flysafepapi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>the morning after Tommy's breakdown.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tommy Shelby &amp; Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so empty, so used up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>crossposted from my tumblr of the same name.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Morning, Frances. Is Tommy in?”</p><p>“I haven’t seen him this morning, I’m afraid. Should I tell him you’re here?”</p><p>“No, it’s okay, I’ll go get him myself.”</p><p>He doesn’t move from the bed when you step into the room and close the door behind you, not bothering to be quiet. It’s already past ten, so the fact that he’s still under the covers is a sign that something’s not right. In all the years you’ve known him, he’s always been an early riser, especially since Charlie was born. </p><p>“What’s the matter, blue eyes?”</p><p>“Leave me alone,” he says, when you awkwardly walk up the bed on your knees and drop down beside him, landing on your back and looking up at the ceiling. </p><p>“Can’t do that, Tommy, not until you tell me what’s going on.”</p><p>“Get out.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>If you’d been anyone else, you know he probably would’ve forcibly made you leave, but instead he just sighs and lifts the covers up so you can slide underneath. It takes some wriggling, because you’re half laying on the top of them, but you manage in the bed, and scoot over until the two of you are pressed shoulder to shoulder. </p><p>“Talk to me.”</p><p>“Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?”</p><p>Any other time, you would have made a joke, tried to wave away the question, but this is your best friend and he’s looking at you with that haunted look in his eyes that you hate. </p><p>“Sometimes. When everything gets too loud, and it feels like the war is happening all over again. I see some of the boys, sometimes. They talk to me.”</p><p>“What do they say?”</p><p>You do dodge the question, then.</p><p>“I know you miss her.”</p><p>“Don’t-”</p><p>“No, it’s your turn to listen to me, okay? I know you miss her, and I understand that, but that doesn’t mean you get to let everything go. Frances called me yesterday, and told me what she’d seen you doing, out in the field. What the hell were you thinking?”</p><p>When the two of you were kids, what seems like eons ago now, you’d share beds all the time, huddling underneath the blankets together and telling each other stories well into the night, at least until someone came to tell the two of you to get to sleep and stop playing around. It’s comforting, to do it again, even if the reason you’re here is because your foolish best friend doesn’t know how to ask for help. </p><p>“Why are you here?”</p><p>“To look after you. I’m the one that looks after everyone and you’re the one that protects them, remember?”</p><p>His hand is cold when you take it, and it’s comforting in a way, to know that hasn’t changed even when too much else has. The two of you must look strange, laying under the covers shoulder to shoulder like two children on a sleepover, holding hands where no one can see. </p><p>“You’re going to be alright, Tom, I know it.”</p><p>“Oh, you know it, eh? And how do you know that?”</p><p>“Because I’m here, of course, and I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>“I never could get you to leave me alone, even when we were kids.”</p><p>“Exactly! You’re stuck with me, Mister Shelby, for the rest of your natural life.”</p><p>Finally, he smiles, and it’s just a small thing, but it’s a victory either way. </p><p>“I can live with that.”</p>
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